


Anywhere But Here

by PhilistiniPhagottini



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Other, bad roommtes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26073028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhilistiniPhagottini/pseuds/PhilistiniPhagottini
Summary: You are woken at an ungodly hour of the morning by your roommate, who decides to have obnoxiously loud sex. Where's a knight in shining armour when you need him?
Relationships: Dante (Devil May Cry)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 112





	Anywhere But Here

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a shitty mood and I decided to finally post this. This was loosely based on real life events and I tend to write to cope with shit. Anyways, I hope this gives someone a laugh or two.

Oh, dear god the noise. You had been woken up at an ungodly hour of the morning by some pretty suggestive sounds coming from your roommate's bedroom. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on.

You searched blindly for your phone, groping your nightstand until you found it. The bright screen flashed in your face and you squinted from the onslaught of light. You read the numbers staring back at you. 3:08 am. You groaned and almost threw your phone across your room. Why the hell was your roommate having loud, obnoxious sex at 3am?! You got along with your roommate. You really did. But that didn't stop your late-night murder thoughts surfacing.

You rolled over, crawling over your bed and positioning yourself next to the wall. You slammed your fist against the plaster a few times, frustration seeping into your voice.

"Keep it down! People are trying to sleep!"

You didn't think they heard you. In fact, you were sure that the noises only increased in volume. Surely the neighbours could hear this as well? You really didn't want to get up tomorrow and have that embarrassing conversation with them. It was hard to think at the moment. Couldn't they at least have the common decency to rent a hotel room or have some god damn self-control?

You were so tired that you could cry. You ran a hand through your messy hair, brain scrambling to come up with a solution. There were many possible ways to solve this but you didn't know which one to choose. You just wanted sleep. You had shit to do in the morning. You slammed your hand against the wall a few more times, hoping to get your message across before you reached for your phone. You just wanted out. Even in your groggy state you dialled your boyfriend's number in record time.

You pressed the phone up to your ear, praying to whatever higher being that he would pick up. You waited for a few tense seconds before the call finally connected.

"Sup babe?"

Dante's voice filtering through the phone put your heart at ease. He sounded a little too cheery for this time of night. Then again, he was a demon hunter and he was used to being a bit of a night owl.

"I can't sleep" you said. "My roommate is having obnoxiously loud sex."

"That's what that is?" Dante sounded genuinely surprised. "I thought it was the TV."

Your head fell back to your pillow as you chuckled softly.

"I wish. At least it has a mute button."

You were both silent for a few seconds. There was a period of silence from next door and you were tricked into believing it had finally stopped. It all started back up again and you cringed.

"Oh god damn it" you muttered.

"Why not tell them to shut up?" Dante suggested.

"Tried that" you groaned. "Don't think they heard me."

"Why are they having a 3am hoedown throw down when other people have to sleep?"

You couldn't help but laugh at the question. It was honestly beyond you. You got on well with your roommate and you hardly ever had any problems with them. This situation was all new to you and you weren't sure what to do. Part of you just wanted to kick down the door but that would probably scar you for life. You really didn't want to see that much of them. You sighed heavily through your nose, your hand wiping away some of the sleep that had gathered in the corner of your eye. You were still so tired and you needed more rest.

"Hey babe, mind if I come over and stay with you?" you asked.

It was the only other option you could think of. Staying at the Devil May Cry would be better than here. The shop had a certain charm to it, once you got past the smell of alcohol and strong odour of demon seeping from the walls. You could hear Dante's smile as he answered.

"Sure. I'll come get you."

You smiled at the thought but shook your head.

"Nah. I'll just drive."

"At this hour?" Dante sounded incredulous. "Babe you still sound half asleep."

You kept the phone pressed to your ear as you went in search of a few essential items. You stumbled a bit but you were able to not trip over your own feet in your current drowsy state.

"I'll be fine" you argued. "Don't worry."

Dante hummed. "Too bad. I'm already out front."

"Huh?"

You quickly shuffled over to your window, pulling back the curtains and checking the street below. You spotted him with ease, his red leather coat a giveaway even in the dead of night. He was leaning against his motorbike, white locks dancing in the gentle breeze. He turned his head, bright blue gaze settling on you behind the window. He raised one of his hands and waved at you, wriggling his fingers playfully.

You chuckled. "Ah, my knight in shining leather has arrived."

"Alright I'm coming up to get you. See you in a minute."

"Yeah, see you in a minute."

The call promptly ended and you gathered the rest of your things, stuffing them hastily into your bag. By the time you had gotten to the door and opened it, Dante was already leaning against the frame. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a really loud sound coming from your housemate's room. Your face flushed in embarrassment an apologetic look settling onto your face. You'd deal with your roommate tomorrow, when you weren't thinking of a murder most foul.

Dante flicked his head, gesturing to the hallway behind him.

"You go ahead. I'll make sure you got everything."

You didn't really think twice about what he said and agreed. You wanted out badly. You grabbed your spare house keys and slipped past him. You packed them safely in your bag and started to make your way to the stairs. Halfway down the flight you stopped when you heard a high-pitched scream. You paused, looking back up the way you came. That sounded like it came from your apartment. Your brow furrowed. What did Dante do? Before you could run back up to investigate you saw the red devil in question coming down the stairs after you. You opened your mouth to say something but he was pushing your shoulders, forcing you to keep going.

"Come on, let's get going."

You protested weakly, almost falling down the rest of the stairs as Dante pushed you further along. When you were out on the street you didn't realise how cold it was. You could feel the chill in the air nipping at your face and it made you shiver. You pulled your jacket tighter as you followed Dante to his bike, your jaw clenched tight to stop your teeth from chattering. Only once he mounted his bike did you ask about earlier.

"Hey Dante, what did you do?"

He simply shrugged. "Oh, not much. Just doused the two shits with some ice-cold water."

You don't know what would have been more of a shock to the system. Having a stranger barge into your room or having ice water poured on you?

You shook your head. "Oh Dante."

Dante cackled to himself, his breath turning into little clouds as soon as it made contact with the cold air of the night. He passed the only helmet he had to you, gesturing for you to take a seat behind him.

"Come on babe, hop on so we can get the hell out of here."

You had been waiting to hear those words all night.


End file.
